My day so far…

I woke up on the small dirt patch of the ground that I’ve been sleeping on behind a bush on the corner of a busy street here in town. It’s better I would say laying on a pile of dirt behind a bush than the actual cold ground. Better also in the way that the local cops have not found me behind this bush. I don’t really know why that is really either? I don’t see nor understand how they could not know that I am back there behind this bush huddled up in my sleeping bag at night up against a building? I think I have the million dollar answer to that question as well. I will for the time being keep that to myself though. I had sat up from laying on the ground in my sleeping bag and sparked up my broken piece of a weed pipe. Taking a hit my mind started to gravitate towards thoughts of my mom. Even after a year of not speaking with her or seeing her I will still stand here saying “hey people she is alive and kicking” to anyone that will hear it out. The weed leaves it’s wonderful taste within my mouth as I sit there in my sleeping bag packing another bowl. Like any other morning or day I just don’t have the willingness or strength to get myself up and going about my day (such as it is). It’s very,very hard to do so when most mornings I just wish that God himself would have let me keep sleeping and not ever to wake up again in this life with this human race. I’ve never in all my years (except one other time in my life) of being homeless have I ever had it as hard as I have it and have had it for the past year. Finishing off my bowl of weed I slowly, painfully (bad right lower leg. It has a bar in it that originally had three pins in it only for one of those pins to be showing through the skin near my ankle) force myself to get up. I walk the few blocks to a place that I go to here and there to get some breakfast and lunch. Arriving to the building and my destination I walk inside checking in being that is their process of having a person check in. Sitting down in the small dining room that only has about four tables in it for people to sit I sit quietly next to someone that I know. Around the table I sit at are a few others that I know and that know me. I don’t see the girl that I’ve been trying to hook up with for the last day or so. “Maybe she will be here for lunch” I had thought to myself. Then right before I was supposed to leave I run into another lady that I know who gave me like three dollars so that I could go to bk and grab some warm coffee. I had meant to take a shower while I was at the establishment if only it would not have been for me putting my head down on table and falling asleep after eating some breakfast. I slept on that table with my arms underneath my head for support for a good while. When I finally had come to it was a few minutes before they (the volunteers are wonderful people) started to serve lunch. I asked a friend for a smoke (he gave me a cigar that looks somewhat like a cigarette) going outside in order to smoke the cigar. It was all the guy had to give to me. It was the only thing that I had to smoke for the time being. Lighting up the cigar I understood then why I never took up smoking cigars. After lunch which was some tuna casserole I walked out of the building heading over to the local BK up a few blocks. Arriving at BK I grabbed a medium coffee and a “rodeo” burger. I still have not left yet (the staff all know or know of myself in some sort of way being that I know one of the staff members personally.) Well we will see what the rest of the day brings forth for me.

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