Waking up

Well this morning has been no different than any other morning has been for the last year I would say. I sat there thinking it was still a weekday for one. For another I had thoughts concerning a person swimming around in my brain. The thoughts never quite seem to leave me. They just grab me by the jugular squeezing ever so tightly with all the memories like smoke billowing around. I had a few dollars on myself (thank God being that I can now get some coffee) to go to the local BK down the block for some freshly brewed coffee as well as a sausage biscuit. life can’t be or get any worse right? Well you just very well may be wrong. I miss her so very much! I just don’t have all the answers of which it’s already been a little over a year now that she went away from me as well as my life. I don’t know what happened to bring things to where they are at for myself as well as her? The stories that fly around like flies landing upon your skin as they burrow up underneath that surface of skin. I just wish as well as want more than anything to have my old life back to where I am happy and content with things and the world. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to just be myself and have those ppl that I choose to have and be in my life. It’s not easy being homeless. No one ever said that it would be easy either. I can usually hack it as I don’t pay much attention to the whole bit of being homeless as much as I pertain myself and thoughts to another issue that has totally decimated my life. Yes I do have an #abuser #stalker #obsessed sort of a #criminal #idiot #scary #fuck of an individual of which has the #cops on his side of things as they let him (I say “they let him” being that they (the cops as well as others) at least know of some of what this individual is about and like! Yet they do nothing to him letting him to mark myself as he eventually pops back up into my life at random from out of the blue trying to have pulled off from any angle he can seem to have pulled off in having myself go thru an ending of his that he has for so long been trying to have myself go thru. It’s nerve wracking to say the least when you know that a certain individual is for example trying to have you put away in one of the worst,evil,fucked up places that an individual could ever go off to or even see the horrors of such a place from the inside of it out. It’s scary as well as terrifying when ya know that the individual can have that pulled off from his side of things. All the while he is abusing you just not in the way others would think. He abused me in various ways in order to get what he and another individual wanted from myself. Well more than likely…awwwww who even cares to hear it let alone try to do anything, something about it!?

Not me but still waking up at noon on a Saturday

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